Thursday December, 4th - Unrequitted love

  As a guy I cannot say this topic is something I think about to much in my daily life, but I do have just little experience with unrequited love. Love comes in many shapes and sizes, yes I know that you know that already, but it comes from literally almost anywhere. For me at this point in life I have not experienced a burning eternal desire to be with someone all the time, but I do have a eternal love for Philosophy. Whether you think that is unrequited love or not, I'm just going to role with it.
  Yes a unrequited love for Philosophy or the study of things or the study of everything that is life. That is the only thing I think about constantly twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week and the only thing worse than the endless loops of thought is that I could not prove or write what is in my head form day to day. It is an endless loop of questions for me sort of like when you try to go to bed and you cannot fall asleep because you're thinking of too many things at once, and it doesn't go away.
   It is very much an unrequited love for me, because no matter how much I love it, it stays flowing in my head forever. We cannot explain much of what we see and even more of what we don't, but people are so close minded, so inhabited in their own world. It is 7:00,time to wake up, 8:30, time to start school, 3:30, schools out, 4:15, get home watch a movie, 10:30 time to go to sleep, and boom! you are in your own little world creating constant loops of the same thing over and over until you are made to do something different.
  The fact is that I am not making any sense to you write now, but that is why my love for Philosophy is an unrequited love, and it is much more than a story on blog or one little loop.

Tuesday December, 2nd - Top Secret

  The clock strikes seven and the snow still falls. Roads are covered with ice and on top of that snow. Work is canceled for me at the San Francisco International Airport. Three planes have already been reported non functioning with frozen gas pumps and busted pipes, besides the taxi ways are to icy by far. However, my wife Lucia still has to report to the CTU for work. Government jobs are the worst! She decided to take a shower before heading away for the day, and as she stepped into the shower and I had comfortably positioned my head on the perfect place on the pillow, I heard her voice slightly brake through the noise of water meeting the floor of the shower. I smiled thinking that she was about to sing or something, although if she were trying to sing she had the worst lyrics ever. "Code 19185", was all I heard then her voice got quitter, but I still managed to very dimly hear her mumbled words. "So zombie apocalypse is a go!", words were still mumbled but I think that is what she said. I asked he who she was talking to when she stepped out of the bathroom door but she only gave the simplistic answer of, "What?" and then continued to get ready for work. I watched as she pulled out of the drive way in her dinky little Prius. "That isn't going to make it far", I thought. The sky was still spitting snow, and I stopped for a moment, I'm in San Francisco it doesn't snow here. It was at that moment that I realized she was up to something precarious. I called her several times at work but all I heard on the other end was static. I tried not to think about it until she got home that after noon. I watched her pull into the drive way and I bursted out of the door in questions. "What is code 19185 and what is zombie apocalypse?". Her face turned to a frown and she responded with, "code 19/1/85 you mean, and that is your birth date as for zombie apocalypse, that was the name of the party I was going to throw for you tomorrow, but I guess you ruined the surprise". "Then why did you go to work today", I stupidly questioned. " I didn't" she responded. " My work cleared some snow off some roads so that I could get a present for you before all of the Black Friday sales were gone!". She walked slowly inside with a raised eyebrow and a raised eyebrow means trouble for me.

Friday November, 21st - Ekphrasis

Van Gogh - Starry Night (1889)

 Starry, windy, wondrous, or alone come to my mind when I imagine this painting. The stars illuminate the night giving some things that had been covered by darkness before, seen again. A quiet town with mischief roaming around as children sneak out of bed because there thought was fixed on exploring the night. And no it wasn't scary to the children, and no it wasn't dark. To them it was a whole new world, a diamond in the rough only to be seen by the ones who wanted to see it. The parents slept there lives away while the children took nothing in the night for granted. Old crooked trees swayed in the wind, but it did not scare them the least bit, no in fact it ignited a flame they carried in a stone case throughout the night. They explored the farmers fields in the far east of the town in which they were told to never go near, but they did anyways. They Climbed the hills farther east of the town and gazed across the valley to the far west. This did not drain their energy, this ignited it. So with this flame that still burned, this flame of wonder, they stretched to the south plateau and then to the lakes of the north, and back to town without breaking a sweat or dimming the flame. It was late that night, but the moon still illuminated the hay fields and it still made the wolves howl their stories. It was the night of wonder and it was a night to be painted bright upon a canvas for everyone else to see.                                                                                                                                                                     http://smarthistory.khanacademy.org/van-goghs-the-starry-night.html

Thursday November, 20th - Emotions

   Joy walks into the room with a cheerful smile on her face and turns the TV to channel one for Riley's daily dose of glee. Joy whispers into a microphone that lay calmly atop the small table in front of her," It's a Friday Riley", and simply smiles as Riley woke that morning. Joy walked out of the room, still with a bright smile printed upon her lips.
   It was about that time that Disgust walked into the room with a smirk on her face and eyes pitched upwards and to the right of her head. She walked towards the TV, arms crossed, and turned to channel one where Joy had left it. By this time Riley had already arrived at school and was taking out anything she needed for first period class that day. As she took out her last few remaining books she catches a glimpse of someone tripping another person and Disgust says," What has this world come to?", and struts out of the room.
   Fear caught the look of Disgust's slight smirk as he walked into the room cautiously. He sat gently on the couch in front of the TV with eyes 'a' wondering around the room checking for any safety hazards such as a concussion or tumor. He turns the TV to channel one and by this time Riley was walking into class with arms crossed and books in her hands. Though she seemed disgusted at the world she still had a slight confident smile on her face as it was Friday. Riley was in English at the time, so Fear looked out the books Riley had brought with her, but he saw no English book. He started to panic and ran out of the room leaving the TV on accidentally.
   Anger was standing in the doorway watching Fear run out of the room in tears. He walked to the TV, arms crossed and eyebrows steadily pointed downwards as if they were trying to reach his nose, and watched as Riley quickly sprawled out all of her books looking for the English book. Anger was tired of watching Riley search for her book so he stormed out of the room with an increasing temper.
   Sadness took slow steps into the room with her head pointed towards the floor and almost missing Anger who was throwing his hands in the air in rage. Sadness slowly but surly made her way to the TV and watched as Riley asked someone for their English book, but no one would let her use theirs sense there was a test that day. The test was soon handed out and Riley, now sweating in fear of failing the test, asked several people for answers to the test, but she got none. The teacher however had heard her talking and took her outside the classroom for a moments time. The teacher returned but Riley did not. Riley had walked to the principles office in sadness to tell about her cheating on the test, and so the day continued with Riley dragging her head upon the ground in shame.

Friday November, 14th - The Berlin Wall

 Vermin Germans they called us, Communists we called them, but it couldn't be foreseen that a giant concrete wall would separate us from our people. Today is August, 13th 1974 and the wall still stands tall mocking us a little more each day. We are the fascists, the Germans who live on the west side of the Berlin wall and another day, another year we live in the shadow casted upon us by this wall. The Communist say that we are vermin of the socialist state or east Germany. They say it is for the greater good of Germany, but we fascists see nothing more than tyranny spreading across our country. This is our country and it isn't fair for us to be treated like a rat. They know rats spread, rats devise plans, and rats destroy their enemies with what ever force they have. So in the hearts of all the Germans on the west side of the wall, we have hope that one day the wall will fall, and like the rats they believe we are, we will invade and strip their so called socialist state to nothing but a desolate land of broken dreams. One day we will invade eastern Germany and chip our marks of hate into the wall and do the same to them so that they will not forget who we are and what they did to us. And like rats we will strike.

Thursady November, 13th - The Macabre Arts

 There are very few things In life that have the ability to literally scare me to tears, and this painting reminds me of one of those things. Hell is a thought of pure terror to me and it could not be more vivid in my mind. The images that appear are similar to this one but you will have to take it as it appears sense I could not ever find a way to put the scene of Hell in someone's mind as it appears to me. Hell is dark and non-escapable. Hell is pain million times worse than you could imagine, and it goes on forever. Imagine having your arm being pulled off by brute force and then living forever with that pain. Now magnify the pain by a million and add torture. Now really get a perspective on how long FOREVER really is., and you have a VERY SLIGHT perspective on how bad it could be.

Art by David Olere

Wednesday November, 12th - The Macabre Home

 He ran down the dark corridor knowing that his demise was close and his fear was drawing closer to constrict his mind with fear and anger. He falls to the stony cold floor out of breath and discouraged. "No", he thought "this cant happen, this wont happen again. I will not be restricted by this beast". He gathered his wits and stood facing the monster that had been chasing him for the majority of a year. Things seemed to move in slow motion as he stood. The beast disappeared from sight and the surroundings turned bleak as woke to be comforted by his cat that had been waiting by his bedside though out the night. With wide eyes he felt his face and pulled his hands to a fist and then flat again. His face was concealed with sweat and the veins in his forearms were pulsating. "I'm still asleep!", the cat jumped at his scream and darted out the door. "Not again, I will not suffer this fate over and over at your will you wicked demon!". He peered out of the window and the bright July Sun soon turned into a black November Moon. He turned back to the door and noticed a long hallway which seemed to elongate to no end, but it did not scare him the least bit sense he had been in the same position before. "Stop this madness now I will not play your game any more you beast!". The hallway turned different shades of blue, black, and grey before constricting back to a reasonable length. He had to believe that the end was near so he began o run with full force down the dark corridor.  The moonlight shattered glass windows as he ran down the shadowed hallway. "The end, end, end?", his mind filled with hope, the hope that the hallway would lead him to an escape. He soon reached the end of the hallway where a door stood. He reached for the handle which sparkled in the moonlight, and twisted the handle, "The end?", he thought, but the door opened with grace only to uncover another elongated corridor with moonlight blacker than ever shining in threw the barred windows. He dropped to the floor in tears. "Inception!"

Friday October, 7th - Ewww.....thats creepy!

He danced and spun
but spun with what was the question.
The moon watched as he danced
but the moon didn't seem as enhanced to do the same.

Although, he sorrowed much that his dance was in vain
for his lover was not with him, the dance, the dance of pain.
He looked high above his head and said
"if only my lover were dead".

"if only my lover were to be dead
then I could dance with no pain
for her hand would lay with mine
and the night wouldn't be a dread".

So he danced alone with fright
in hopes his wife would die the very next night.

Tuesday October, 28th - Out of toilet paper

  Lil Wayne pulls up in a food city parking lot with a problem in his mind. There was about to be a horrible party in his pants and his J's were at risk if he couldn't get to the bathroom in time. "I aint got no worries", he said as he steps out of his Lamborghini. His smiling expression was soon wiped away when he felt a discomfort in a place discomfort didn't want to be in. He tip toes in his Jordan's as fast as he could to the entrance of the food city. As soon as he gets inside he broke out into a blood curdling scream, "Where is the Bathroom my peeps", the manager was amazed to see Lil Wayne but Wayne charged towards the restroom without making eye contact with anyone. He bursts through the door and enters a stall. He sits and waits to  "Drop the world", and when he did he sighed with relief and reaches for the toilet paper. His hand grasps only air where the toilet paper should have been, but there was none. Lil Wayne screams "why!" in a horror movie like manner. His mind races and his heart beats like the bass. There was only one thing to do. Lil Wayne pulled his pants up and walked out of the restroom with legs crossed. He passes a long line of people with pen and paper in hand asking for his autograph. Lil Wayne's only response was "Sorry 4 the wait, you are out of toilet paper". He proceeded to run out of the store, legs still crossed, and into his Lamborghini which he drove off in.

Mondat Octoer, 27th - Fairy tale name poem

Bashful

Allay

Shy

Harmonious

Festive

Untroubled

                                    Laid back

Friday October, 24th - X marks the spot

   I pull the rope towards my right side to change directions of the sails only to be overthrown by the wind. My hand flew backwards in a fishtailing motion and smacked Captain Zedd Van Cook in his handle bar mustache. Jack was in the hull drinking all of the rum, and as usual he wasn't helping. Zedd and I stood firm on the deck while the wind sung a death song in our ears. We knew that the rain would stop any second now and we would praise the sun when we see it. We checked the waters for any rocks that could potentially puncture the ships hull, which Jack was still in drinking his mind away, and while checking the waters we saw a lantern burning eternal inside a rounded glass canteen approaching us. Lightning pierced the nearby water and light was shed upon us for a brief moment, and what we saw was a ship in the shape of a leviathan with lantern fire as eyes. The ship approached us deathly and the rain now poured the heavens, and the water rumbled hell. The water was going to be my shallow grave I thought to myself. I watched the ship pull closer and it was no longer death that occupied my mind, it was curiosity. The ship had no one upon its decks. It was abandoned.
   Captain Zedd had a smile on his face and a sense of humor in his eyes. Zedd latched his hand on a rope and swung over to the leviathan, and signaled for me to do the same. "What about Jack?", I said while looking at the door that led to the hull. "Leave the drunk for fate to decide and swing aboard lad!", Zedd responded with a raised eyebrow. I swung across and Zedd, with wealth in his mind, stepped in to the hull, and there beneath the steps nailed to the muggy walls of the ship hung a map. Zedd snatched the map off the wall and held it in his hands looking upon it. I stared over his shoulder with wide eyes, and as soon as Zedd saw my eyes hit the map he quickly stuffed it into his pocket, And said, "treasure". He stepped up to the steering spike on the top of the captain's house and sailed in a direction I did not know. I fell asleep to the sound of raindrops hitting the old wooden floor that night believing in Captain Zedd to lead us to safety. I awoke the next morning and we were on a small island. Zedd wasn't on the leviathan, but I raised my gaze to the shore and there he was pushing a large chest towards the boat. I stepped onto the foreign sand and helped Zedd with the chest which seemed to get heavier by the hour.
   We used all of our abilities to raise the chest onboard the leviathan, but we weren't able to do so. We sat up against the chest while breathing heavily. The island wasn't far from paradise I thought as I sat. The waters were as pure as a rain drop that had been filtered through the clouds on crisp chilled morning in the days of fall season. Palm tress stood tall almost as if they were posing for us to look upon them with admiration. Mountains with flowing falls and fine sanded beaches surrounded the inner island with beauty. Captain Zedd didn't share my admiration as he was already prying the lock off the cracked wood of the chest. I stood stiff and simply kicked the rotted wood to reveal a hole in the chest's right panel. In time we smashed the chest and uncovered anything but wealth. Inside the chest, drunk as could be, was Jack smiling with contentment. The captain and I tore Jack from the chest and his rum. Zedd uncovered a shrivled rope from a sack he carried along with him, and tied it around Jack's throat. I stood there and felt no sorrow for what we were going to do with jack. Jack still smiled with pure drunkenness unknowing what was going to happen. We pulled Jack across the sand and near a palm tree where we stood Jack up and hung him. Jack was dead however jack's smile was not. So Zedd smacked it off and we sat on the beach waiting for help in this paradise.

Thursday October, 23rd - Battle of the Puns

   It was an ordinary day of archery practice.  Everyone would already be there by the time I arrived  and I would smile like usual. The day was mellow as could be and I couldn't wipe a smile off my face. The coach called for all archers to the line where we would be slinging arrows at targets for  the day. The first shot was always the worst but this one was the unbelievably terrible. I held the arrow in my right hand about to attach it to the string when it feel out of my hand and onto the ground in front of me. I knelt to pick it up when it said, " It isn't safe to drop arrows, stupid", it gave a small annoying laugh, but it had a point. I responded with the everyday comeback of I'm smarter than you! The arrow stared at me and said," Dude, I'm pretty sure I'm the sharpest thing around here, so are you sure you are smarter than me". I picked the arrow up and pulled the string to my jaw and released with anger. The arrow flew towards the target and snapped in half when it hit. I put the bow down and by that time I had realized everyone was staring at me with wide eyes. "Next time ill get a ten" I said to the coach who was watching me contently.

Tuesday October, 21st - Deja Vu

   You studied the old man carefully. You couldn't quite put your finger on it, but something about him reminded you of someone else. But who? This moment happens to many and to many people it is a thought that can literally consume hours and hours of thought to even start to consider what happens in your mind at this moment. At some point in your life you will most likely have the dream where you are falling and when you nearly hit the ground you awake with a fast beating heart. I love to think about these types of things and possible explanations of why or how this happens.
  What is a dream first of all? Many people say the mind runs lose when it isn't restricted by your conscious when you are awake, and we BELIEVE that we only use some parts of our mind while the rest is left unexplored and foreign. Yes, the most foreign thing in the world is in your very own head and you use it everyday. A black hole the size of twelve galaxies is less interesting than our minds to me. So what happens to the rest of your mind while you are asleep. I BELIEVE that it wonders around just like a dog without a leash, it explores new things and new possibilities we haven't considered yet maybe.
  So, is deja vu just a moment where you use that foreign part of your mind for only a moment, and you recall what it has explored for only a couple of seconds at a time. Everyone has there own opinion and this is mine in a nutshell. Although, this could be possible it doesn't explain why we only see what is present or in the past, why couldn't we see what is in the future? We just don't know!


If you liked this or my "I remember when." blog then I highly recommend watching Jason Silvia's Shots of Awe on YouTube.

Thusday October, 16th - Rain

  I have to say that rain actually makes the world seem more comfortable to me if that makes any sort of sense to you. This is really something I cannot explain in words. I guess knowing that the most exciting part of the day will be something nature throws at me and not the regular school stress that is layered on me like a never-ending hole, just call me Alice.

Wednesday October 15th - I remember when.

  I remember when coming to school meant just another adventure. I remember a time before I had video games and most of my time was spent outside climbing trees or playing soldier outside with my brother and our guns were sticks. I remember when imagination was just another everyday occurrence and I don't think that we as humans go back to these times often enough like we should. We often mask troubles with anger or happiness which are just states of mind, and I think if we could get out and back to the childish state of mind that we had so many yeas ago the world would  unfold with wonder for us to gaze upon once again.
  I remember when I would play in the nearby forest as a kid and I would do so for hours playing, running, or just making something out of dirt and twigs, and to me it almost makes me cry honestly when I think that we as people have a hard time going back to this simple state of mind. Even though I say this, I myself am a hypocrite because I couldn't go back to this time of thinking, but I like to think we still do these things, but in a different way. Video games for example are just another way to explore and when you see a kid playing video games for hours and hours you see someone who is unfit and maybe a "loner", as someone might say, but really that kid is exploring a different world that most don't see and it is exhilarating to see this happen because those child like thoughts show once again.
  I don't mean to pour my thoughts into a blog but it is something everyone needs to consider and think upon because if I were to ask you when the last time you felt like you could have the time of your life with just a few simplistic things already found in nature your answer would be "When I was a kid". Don't let the thought consume you but just consider it when you need to.

Friday October 10th - Pet Peeve

   My biggest pet peeve is when someone asks me why I don't talk or when people ask stupid simple questions they could answer themselves. Most the time when I meet people they ask me why am I so quiet and usually the first few times they ask I will shrug it off and give a small polite smile, no grudge what so ever, but it is aggravating when they ask the question over and over. I respect curiosity, but not constant conciliating curiosity.

Monday October, 6th - Persona Poem - The guy in the iron shell

I'm going to do something different today.
I'm going to fly far away
maybe to Paris or the Moon
but in my mind, it is only a glance.

I'm going to brush my teeth
...again.
I'm going to take a Sunday drive in the Audi
...again.

Put the keys in the ignition
...again.
Wave hello to Mr. Depp
...again.

Its all in the life of Iron Man.
Yeah I've got money,
but what is the point when you have done everything.
I guess ill have to build something,...again.

Maybe a shelf for my film awards
or a flying battleship.
...maybe.
...again.

Thursday October, 2nd - The Frog Prince

  Once upon a time their was beautiful Princess named Mary who lived in a stunning castle with much wealth to herself. Mary was happy in this castle, but she only had one wish, to marry a beautiful rich Prince that would play in the golden gardens of the castle amongst her. The Princess ,Mary, thought she was loved by all in her kingdom, but it was true that most of the people in her kingdom despised her and seeked to take all that she had.

  One day a box arrived at Princess Mary's door. Filled with curiosity Mary opened the box to find a frog and under the frog sat a letter. The letter said;
  Dear Princess Mary,
     "We are your people and we want to help you with your loneliness inside that large castle, so here inside this box is a magical frog. This frog is actually a beautiful prince that has been cursed by an evil witch, and if you can remove the curse than he will become the Prince you have dreamed of. To remove the curse you must give him a place to sleep, royal food, and money which he will then use to buy you a ring and marry you."

  The Princess Mary of course offered him a place to sleep, food, and money. She sat down and watched the frog jump around, and imagined how fantastical her wedding was going to be, but the frog never bought her a ring. Mary thought that the things she had given the frog wasn't enough so she gave the small frog more and more until she had nothing more to give. So bewildered and poor she sat on the dusty roads of the village begging for money, but only receiving mean stairs and awful looks. She did not live happy ever after.

Wednesday October, 1st - Fairy tale characters

Little red cap was taking a walk
only to be stalked
by a wicked creature of dark
hiding behind a tree in nature's park.

She thought she was alone
as she walked upon the stone.
A shiver ran up her spine
when she saw something hiding behind the pine.

She dropped her basket and ran for cover
but there was no cover for her.
The chaser was none other than the big bad wolf
and he had disappeared with a poof.

Little red cap thought she was alone again
until she turned and saw the wolf with a big grin.
She screamed and closed her eyes
but it lead to her awful demise.

Monday September, 30th - I'm wierded out

  As soon as I arrived, I could see something was out of place. The kitchen table was glued to the ceiling and the walls were taped together. How could I not notice this mess. I wanted to sit and think but the couch was nailed to the hard wood floor top down, and the chair was split perfectly into several pieces of wood that were now spread around the house. I decided to check upstairs for anything odd, but I was crazy for thinking I would find something normal. The stairs seemed solid, until I stepped onto them. The stairs tore into a hole below my ankles. I couldn't help but to stair into the hole with fright. I grabbed the wooden guard rails to try to pull myself away, but they disappeared before I had a grip. The hole now drug me downwards until my whole body was under and I was floating in darkness. The only thing I saw was darkness and the only thing I felt was chaos. Chaos grew closer almost as if it had become my friend, but some people don't understand chaos just like they might not understand this story, but you better piece your life together before chaos consumes you,